Lost
by TeamBBLoki
Summary: Terra is feeling bad for lying to Beast Boy, and she gets drunk. She somehow ends up back at Titans Tower and is forced to explain herself. Oneshot! One sided BBxTerra. BBRae


A/N Hey guys, I'm really sorry I've been M.I.A. I know you guys are waiting for the next chap for Better Together, and I promise I'll get it to you tomorrow. Also, I have a multi chapter BBRae fic coming up! So keep your eyes out! So yes this is about Beast Boy and Terra but not in THAT way, because you all know how hard I ship BBRae. Also, I feel like adding I think Terra drank at high school parties and stuff and got outta control once or twice. Okay, here we go!

The blonde girl paced back and forth in the dark, dank cave, not knowing what to think or do. She had made her decision, hadn't she? Well no, obviously she hadn't because she was back to where she was when this thing all started, jumping from cave to cave and wearing a shirt that had been too small for her since she was eight. Back to the outfit that reminded her of her mistakes and everything she's done and how she messes up everything she touches, no matter what.

Being a hero just wasn't for her, she thought. She always felt as if she was in the wrong body. She had known for sure that her only destiny was to be a normal girl. That didn't stop her from hoping, wanting, wishing. Just to see his face, hear his laugh, feel his hand in hers. It didn't stop her from hating herself with every ounce of her being. She betrayed him, then flat out lied to him about not remembering.

She grabbed two handfuls of her hair and yanked. "Well great job, Terra."

Terra gasped and spun around only to see herself staring back at her. Terra started to stutter.

"Wh-what are y-you d-doing he-here?"

"Nothing. Just chilling." She started to laugh maniacally. The sound of her laughter burned deep into Terra's ears.

"I thought I had gotten rid of you." Terra was careful not to look her in the eye, just to keep looking forward and to control her breathing.

"Silly Terra, you can never free yourself from what's in your head." She laughed again and stumbled around as if she was drunk. Knowing her, she probably was.

"Why do you look drunk?"

The other girl stood up quickly and easily regained her balance. "Oh, I wasn't. I was practicing for later tonight, when YOU'RE going to be."

Terra looked back at the girl like she belonged in a mental institution. Then she just shook her head and turned away again. "I don't do that anymore." She closed her eyes and tried to rid herself of the bad memories brought on by just the sight of the bottle. Her routine to clear her mind didn't work- it never did.

The other girl shook the full wine bottle under her nose. "You know you wanna!" Terra tried to smack it away, but the girl of her imagination yanked it away and held it in front of her, but not where she could take it away.

Terra cursed to herself. She was absolutely positive she had gotten rid of this side of her personality. But no. All she did was make it strong enough to come out of her mind. She really didn't want this devil side of her to win this argument…but the wine looked so good.

She didn't know how she managed to do it, but she did. She somehow managed to justify taking the bottle and opening it, and taking the first sip.

The whole bottle was gone within ten minutes. Her evil self just handed her another one.

And a third one.

Soon Terra didn't feel anything anymore, and she had to admit it was the best feeling she'd had in her entire life. She wasn't worrying. She didn't care. She didn't care that she was the queen of all bitches to the person who loved her the most, she didn't care that she screwed over all her friends, she didn't care that she could never do anything right.

She just cared about getting to Titans Tower.

-line-

Her evil side watched in amusement as Terra stumbled down the cliff side and clumsily flew on a rock towards Titans Tower. Quite frankly, she was surprised Terra didn't just fall of the cliff.

Meanwhile, Terra was having a hard time staying up in the air; the rock she was riding was shaking underneath her, threatening to give out at any time. But of course, Terra just thought she had a bad rock.

She landed very roughly on the shore, and laid down for a minute, just staying on her back and looking at the stars. She began to laugh hysterically, and she had no idea why. She had to remind herself where the hell she was, then it hit her alcohol-drowned brain. She was at Titans Tower. TITANS TOWER. The home of the guy she was sure she'd ruin the life of. And the drunk her was determined to…make things right.

Getting up, she brushed herself of and began stumbling towards the door. She tripped, but got up immediately and continued her journey. She took a deep breath as she realized she was standing in front of the door. She took a moment to laugh at the fact that if she wasn't as pass-out drunk like she was now, she would probably be having a panic attack. But the way she was now, she couldn't bring herself to care.

'Well, there's no use in just sitting here,' Terra thought to herself. She meant to daintily knock on the door, but she didn't have much control and ended up banging on it much louder than intended. She winced. Her vision was starting to go blurry, which meant that her instincts would start panicking soon. She rubbed her eyes then opened them wide, but that didn't help.

Even though she wasn't expecting it to, the door opened in front of her. Starfire stood in front of her, and upon recognizing her, had different flashes of anger, confusion, and happiness in her eyes. Terra tried to take a step towards her, but all she had time to say was Starfire's name before she couldn't fight the blurring anymore and she gave into the darkness.

* * *

"Should we wake friend Beast Boy and Raven?"

Two male voices immediately said "No!"

"She really is freed. I thought Beast Boy was going crazy, like what happened when Slade got in my mind. But she's back." Terra heard three pairs of footsteps leave the room. She opened one eye at a time, and was mildly shocked to realize she was in Titans Tower. She felt something cold against her leg when she remembered, she had brought her iPod! She smiled crookedly, then searched for her headphones. She was very disappointed when she didn't find any. Terra looked around the room to see if any were lying around. There weren't, but she grinned when she saw a big stereo with a dock not that far away from her. She got up to walk towards it, and promptly fell down. Eventually, she got there, and she had to especially steady her hand to plug the iPod in. She widely grinned at the first song that came on, and turned it up enough that she could sing loudly. She clumsily danced to the intro, then sang along with Chris's smooth voice.

"_Just because I'm losing, doesn't mean I'm lost, doesn't mean I'll stop, doesn't mean that I'm across._" Terra smiled, because even though she was drunk she still remembered that this song's lyrics applied to her greatly. "_Just because I'm hurting, doesn't mean I'm hurt, doesn't mean I didn't get what I deserve, no better and no worse._"

She threw her hands up and started twirling- or more like stumbling- around as the chorus began. "_I just got lost! Every river that I've tried to cross, every door I ever tried was locked. Ohh, and I'm just waiting till the shine wears off._" She grinned and closed her eyes, swaying to the beat.

"_You might be a big fish, in a little pond. Doesn't mean you've won. Because along will come, a bigger one._" She heard footsteps behind her, but she ignored them.

"_And you'll be lost, every river that you tried to cross. Every gun you ever had went off. Ohh and I'm just waiting till the firing stops. Ohh and I'm just waiting till the shine wears off. Yeah and I'm just waiting till the shine wears off._" She laughed and threw her head back to the sound of the guitar. She twirled around and the smile instantly dropped off her face as she saw the confused and angry faces of Beast Boy and Raven. She blushed furiously as the song ended and she barely had the ability to rip the iPod out of the dock.

"S-sorry. I d-on't know w-why I….why I came…to this…place. N-not sure how I…got here. I was, I-I don't know." She shook her head and laughed at herself quietly.

Realization dawned on Beast Boy's face. "Terra, are you drunk?"

She laughed nervously, nothing like she's ever sounded. Did she want him to know that she's drunk? "Uhm, yes? I th-think, ha-ha."

There was silence.

"I-I re-remember. I re-remember every-thing. I di-didn't tell you, I d-don't want t-to be a…..hero?" Terra blurted out the truth, leaving Beast Boy shocked. She quickly followed up her statement. "B-but I w-want y-you, Beast Boy! I w-want you!" She began to tear up. "I messed up. I really d-did."

Beast Boy didn't know what to say, all that time he had been waiting for Terra to come to him, to say all this, but now he was with Raven. And while Terra always would have a special place in his heart, he was honestly in love with Raven.

"Terra, I don't know what to say. I had wanted something like this to happen, but I wished for that a while ago. I'm happy now. I'm finally happy again." He grabbed Raven's hand and Terra looked on with broken eyes.

"I…I kn-new it w-was too l-late…" she whispered. She backed away until she got to the huge windows on the other side of the room. She opened one with ease, then stood on the window sill, looking out over the ocean. "I don't…don't b-belong. An-any-wh-where." She felt like she felt her heart break in her chest.

"G-goodbye." She turned to face them, to see their faces one last time, before letting herself fall backwards, out of the window. She heard both Beast Boy and Raven scream her name, not knowing that she had slowed her fall with a rock. With a heavy heart, she realized they probably thought she was dead. Her heart got even heavier when she began to finally believe, it was better this way.

* * *

_Just because I'm hurting_

_Doesn't mean I'm hurt_

_Doesn't mean I didn't get what I deserved_

_For better or for worse_

A/N Hey guys, what'd you think? PLEASE review, please please please. So I had never written about Terra before, and I wasn't completely sure how to end this, but I think it turned out well. By the way, the song was Lost! by Coldplay.

Love you all!

~TLP


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